Feeling Good

It has now been over 6 weeks since my brain bleed, and I am happy to report that my symptoms are starting to improve. Over the past week especially, things seem to be getting better. I am hoping that I'm through the worst of it, and that recovery from this second bleed will end up being substantially easier and shorter than recovery from the first.

About a month ago, I had an MRI that confirmed the bleed. These are some pictures of my brain:

In this one (the most flattering MRI angle), the white splotch in the middle of my brainstem is the cavernous malformation/bleed location.

In this one, the cavernous malformation/bleed is the white thing surrounded by black. 

Same for this one. And yes, my eyeballs look freaky from this angle! Clearly the least flattering from this photo shoot.

I like looking at these images. Somehow it helps to be able to see a somewhat tangible representation of this thing in my brain. It is also interesting to compare these with previous MRIs. It is clear that the cavernous malformation is currently taking up more space in this valuable tract of brain real estate than it was before.

When my neurosurgeon looked at these images, he saw that the cavernous malformation has worked it's way toward the surface of the pons, and there is now what is called a "surgical access point." Because of this, and because of the potential for future bleeds to occur, he is recommending surgery. When I look at these images, I see that it is still right in the middle of my brain. While there may be an access point, accessing it would be difficult and dangerous, with a relatively high likelihood of causing new deficits (due to accidental squishing of healthy neurons) in the process of removing unhealthy tissue.

I am in the process of pursuing second and third opinions about surgery. Given how good I feel right now, brain surgery seems kind of foolhardy. On the other hand, it would be nice to have this thing gone, and to not have to worry about when it might leak again, and whether the symptoms it causes will be worse next time. This decision will not occur quickly or without substantial deliberation.

For now, I am trying to focus on being happy to be feeling (relatively) good!