6pm airport post

I am extremely miffed at this idiot guy who tried to make a bomb on an airplane, and at the response by the US government which has led to extreme, unnecessary, and completely superficial security measures that have eaten up an entire day+ of my vacation.

Yesterday Jeff and I spent 8 hours in the Toronto airport, including 3 hours boarding our plane, as every person (including every child, toddler, and infant) was patted down one at a time in the jetway, and every piece of carry-on luggage was manually searched. We finally arrived in San Francisco sometime after 1am, and although we had missed our connecting flight by 3 or 4 hours, at least the kind people at Air Canada had booked us on a new flight for the next day (not until 10:30pm getting us in after midnight, but better than nothing), and set us up in a hotel. We ended up getting to the hotel around 2am, and were finally in our room and able to go to sleep around 2:30.

In the morning, we decided to check our flight and see if there were any other options available, and we called United to check. They said no, we would have to wait for our 10:30pm flight, but we might be able to get on stand-by if we came a little earlier. At some point, I decided that I wanted to see if I could check in online to get on the stand-by list as early as possible and I discovered that while Jeff clearly had a reservation, I did not seem to, even though I had been handed a new itinerary by the Air Canada agent in the middle of the night last night when we arrived.

I called United to check, and they told me I had to talk to Air Canada. I became agitated and very assertive, and managed to find out that I was not in fact booked on that flight, and that because Air Canada had done the re-booking, I would need to speak with them to get them to book me a new flight. I called Air Canada, and after waiting on hold for an hour (Jeff actually held the phone and waited most of that time, which was very sweet), finally got an agent, who told me I was booked on the United flight, so if something was wrong I needed to talk to United. I had to be very very assertive, and explain that I had just spoken with United and that I in fact was not booked on that flight at all. After getting angry at me, the agent called United, and found out that I was in fact correct, I did not have a reservation, at which point she became much nicer.

She was very helpful, and started calling all sorts of different airlines to try to find a flight for me, either to Eugene or Portland, and at first told me I was going to have to stay another night in San Francisco, and take a 10:30pm flight tomorrow. I was once again very assertive and stated that I needed to get to Eugene tonight, and she continued to look. Then, the phone died.

We left the hotel and headed for the airport, and on the way there, the Air Canada agent called to say she had booked me on a flight to Portland tonight. When we got to the airport we went to the United check-in desk, and after a brief explanation of what had happened, the agent there was able to get me back on the 10:30pm tonight flight to Eugene, and both of us on the stand-by list for an earlier flight. We are currently waiting to find out if we are able to make in onto the plane. So today, we have spent a couple of hours on the phone with airlines, and about 4 hours in the airport so far, with a possible 3 1/2 more hours to go. But one way or another we are getting to Eugene tonight.

And then I fly again on Friday. Yipee.

5:30am airport post

I'm at the airport, and for the first time in a while I'm headed somewhere for more than a weekend! Today I leave for Toronto to spend Christmas with Jeff's family (he's already there), and then just after Christmas we'll be headed to Eugene until Jan 1st. Vacation!!! And not just vacation, but two whole weeks with my husband. Soooo excited!!!

Yesterday I was a little bit less enthusiastic about leaving, as things were not going quite as planned. Nothing like what Jeff went through on his way to Toronto, but I was stressed. I realized as I started packing that I didn't have a suitcase with me large enough for a two-week trip into wintery cold weather (the big suitcases are in Seattle, I just have a carry-on size), and after panicking briefly, I was able to borrow a bag from my friend Denise. Problem solved.

Also yesterday I was working hard at getting some work done on postdoc applications before leaving, and after a random series of events my computer froze, crashed, needed several re-starts, and then made all my work from the past week disappear (despite it having been diligently saved). I came very close to a melt-down, but fortunately I was not alone-- I was working alongside two friends here, Jeff J. and Denise, and while Denise kept me grounded, Jeff J. magically made all my work come back. It wasn't looking good at first, and it didn't happen instantly but my work was resurrected.

This was yet another moment where I found myself feeling so lucky for the amazing people I have found here. And I've been lucky at every stage of my life to be surrounded by incredible people who have become lifelong friends. So not to sound too sappy, but thanks to all of my dear friends, old and new, and happy holidays :)

Rain and cold!

So it turns out that there is actually weather in San Diego, if only occasionally. Winter has arrived, meaning that a little over a week ago, the heat came on for the first time (which means that it had not dropped below 65F in the apartment before then). It's very chilly tonight, predicted to get down into the 30s (maybe only 39, but still, colder than it's been), and yesterday a "winter storm" came through.

A severe winter storm, in San Diego, looks very different from what gets that label in other parts of the country. Yesterday's "winter storm" involved and inch and a half to two inches of rain, and several hours of gusty wind in the afternoon (~30mph). So it was legitimately a rainy, blustery day.

But the consequences? Over 400 traffic accidents, 42,000 people out of power, and general panic. Trees were falling all over, because the kinds of trees that are planted here (palms, eucalyptus, etc.) have shallow root systems, so getting the ground even a little mushy is enough to cause catastrophes.

It is pretty amazing how a little rain could cause so much trouble, when places like Eugene and Seattle have weather like this all the time, and it usually results in little more than people wearing raincoats. I'm a little bit at a loss...

The good news about the weather being a bit more "wintery" is that I did not feel stupid making a fire in my fireplace when Jeff was visiting last weekend. We had a lovely weekend of doing very little, that included making soup, baking apple crisp, and playing board games in front of the fireplace. I can't wait until next year when we'll be able to do that kind of stuff together all the time!

On starting to feel like I live here

So it turns out that once you get used to it, San Diego is a really nice place to live. And I'm starting to get used to the idea that I live here (even if it is only temporary). Some evidence:

1. When I visited Jeff last weekend (more on that at the end of the post), I was excited to go for a walk out in the rain, because "we just don't have rain where I live!"

2. Earlier this week I helped my downstairs neighbor with a fireplace problem (she needed to open the flue; her house was full of smoke), and didn't realize until much later how funny it is that she was making a fire. Why funny? Because although it is November, it was also almost 60 degrees outside, and it was 70 in my house with no heat on. But, I thought it was totally reasonable to be making a fire, because "my goodness, it really is chilly today!"

3. I now believe that if your car door will open the 6-8 inches required for a thin person to squeeze out, you've left plenty of room.

So see? I'm a real so-cal resident now :)

I had a much-needed visit with Jeff last weekend, and I am super excited to have another visit in just a few days (we'll both be in Eugene for Thanksgiving). We didn't do a whole lot last weekend, which was just the right thing to do. We've had a lot of action-packed visits, and what I really miss most is regular time together-- sitting around, watching DVDs, hanging out in pajamas. That's the stuff that relationships are really made of. So it was good to have that time together last weekend, and even though it was way too short, it's good that we'll have it again soon :)

Anybody in Seattle want to hire me?

I am officially over a third of the way through internship, and suddenly this means that I have to start looking for my next job. It seems like a cruel trick, being put through such a long and difficult process applying to internship, and then once I feel like I'm settling in, suddenly being reminded that I am going to be ejected in 8 months. I'm doing my best right now to find out what's available to apply to, and start networking a bit. Fairly soon I'll need to start writing application materials, and that's just no fun. Because really, ideally, I should also have my dissertation research submitted for publication when I apply for postdoc positions, to make me more competitive. All this means that in addition to working my regular full time internship job, I have to work after work on other stuff several evenings/weekend days a week. That's of course on top of visits to/from Jeff, and all the time required to make a long-distance relationship work. I'm feeling just a little bit overwhelmed. So if anyone has a job they'd like to offer me in Seattle, with no application process, no uncertainty or effort involved, be sure to let me know.

Life is generally good, internship is continuing to go well, and I am continuing to enjoy my new friends here. Random things I've learned recently:

1) I am not at all good at the celebrity version of Taboo. As an example, when I say "his first name sounds like a name for drinkable yogurt" people apparently don't immediately think of Kiefer Sutherland, and unfortunately I have no other means for getting people to guess his name since I don't really know who he is.

2) There was a 1985 Cindy Lauper music video based on the movie Goonies, that was 12 minutes long, included a to-be-continued segment, and also included WWF wrestlers. It's on youtube here.

3) Watching football is actually sort of fun. I'm thinking of choosing an NFL team to support (my college team is obviously the Ducks), and I've been considering the choice very carefully. I think it's down to the Chicago Bears, or the Minnesota Vikings. I'm torn between these two, so if anyone wants to push me in one direction or the other, please do. Once you choose a team you really have to stick with them, so it's important to make a good choice!

Exhausted

Some things I did over the past few days:

Picked up Jeff from the airport late Friday night
Dealt with "relationship re-entry shock" that comes with being apart all the time (including brief break for requisite stupid argument)
Went bowling
Sang karaoke
Stayed out past midnight (!)
Took a bike ride around Coronado Island
Went to work
Drove to Anaheim
(Jeff turns 30 here)
Went to Disneyland (subplot: indiana jones, thunder mountain, pirates of the caribbean, splash mountain, haunted mansion, astro blasters, space mountain, carousel, splash mountain, astro blasters, mr. toad's wild ride, peter pan, am I forgetting anything???)
Drove home
Ate cake
Took Jeff to the airport
Went to work
And, grand finale:

Came home exhausted. I haven't been totally out of touch with normal life, but I did have about 50 unread e-mail messages when I finally went to try to clear them out this evening. Having fun is a lot of work!

More details on Jeff's blog (link at right).

Food, Friends, and Bryan Adams

Since people have asked: things are looking up slightly for my roommate's health, and my supervisor has been in a holding pattern for a few weeks which has allowed her to prepare for surgery and all that follows. So the crises of a month ago are feeling less and less like crises, which is good. It's been a busy few weeks, and things are starting to ease up a bit.

This weekend I was vicariously living the joys of others. Two of my favorite people here had great things happen in the past few days: one defended her dissertation, and the other asked his girlfriend to marry him! So there is a lot of positive energy going around. I'm really enjoying their highs, remembering how good each of those things felt when I was living it.

I also had my own joys to celebrate last weekend, when I visited Seattle. Julia, Meredith, and Alison drove up from Eugene, and Jeff's old lab-mate Alicia lives in Seattle, and we all convened for Canadian Thanksgiving. Lots of pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes and yams, stuffing, and for those who cared there was also turkey :)

Our version of Thanksgiving involves friends, food, and karaoke:

That's us singing some Bryan Adams, to honor Canada. Without the Canadian karaoke, there is really nothing to separate Canadian Thanksgiving from the American one. So, somehow or another, it has become tradition that everyone must sing when we celebrate Canadian holidays, and amazingly, everyone just does. There is no protesting, none of the "oh, I really can't sing" nonsense, because for reasons I cannot fully understand, when Jeff asks people to sing, they do.

He also has a magical ability to get people to roller skate, play guitar hero and hula hoop on the wii, eat/drink gross things, and play silly kids' party games (can anyone say squeak piggy squeak?). Somehow, Jeff gets people to drop all their self-consciousness and pretension, and that is one of the things I love so much about him.

Which is one of the reasons why we are going here for Jeff's 30th birthday (just over a week from now). I can hardly wait!

25% Complete

First: No major updates on the health statuses of my colleagues. The good thing about that is that it sort of means there's breathing room, if only temporarily. I'm hoping for the best on all fronts, and in the mean time, at least no news isn't bad news :)

Today marks an internship milestone: I'm a quarter of the way done! It's kind of amazing, because in some ways it doesn't feel like I've been here that long, but in other ways it feels like I've been here forever. The not-that-long parts are that I still don't feel quite like I live here; I still sort of think I'm at summer camp. And since we're still having summer weather, I can almost believe that. And also, I feel like I'm still learning what the heck I'm doing in some respects (although that is starting to change).

The feeling like forever parts are sort of varied, positive and negative. First, it feels like it's been way too long since Jeff and I lived together. I'm starting to adjust to this routine, but I really miss the day-to-day interactions, like making dinner together, or just being able to go for a walk. But in a way, it also feels like it hasn't been that long, and like it will be easy to step right back into those things we used to do every day, so that one is mixed in itself.

It also feels like it's been forever since I saw all my dear Eugene friends and colleagues. I'm really looking forward to seeing a few people during my next Seattle trip (it takes good friends to drive 5 hours for such a short visit!), and a few more when I'm back in town for Thanksgiving.

The flip side of that is that there are a couple of people here who I feel like I've known much longer than 3 months. There really are good people here; people who will probably become very good friends. But don't worry, they will never replace my old friends :)

I'm curious how I'll feel about all this another 3 months from now when it's half done!

Difficult stuff

Only time for a brief post. Lots of stuff has been happening that is taking up my time and mental energy. Two things, most notably:

First, one of my supervisors was just diagnosed with breast cancer. It's still unclear what is happening with this, and what it will mean logistically, but it definitely is a bad thing for many reasons, on many levels.

Second, my roommate (another intern) has been in the hospital since Saturday, related to a congenital heart condition. The story is long and complicated, but the short version is that she started to feel sick for the first time in years, we went to the ER, and now she has a team of doctors trying to figure out what's going on. Her family is far away (though her sister flew in on Sunday), and I'm doing my best to help out.

So these extra stressors are not too fun. The good news is that there are lots of good people here, who are very supportive. And, I get to go to Seattle to visit Jeff this weekend, which will be a much-needed break :)

Is the glass half empty or half full???

The lessons learned continue:

1. You know all that stuff your clinical supervisors have told you about watching for changes on self-report measures, especially changes in self-reported suicidal ideation? And how if you notice a change you should follow up on that? Yeah, your supervisors are right.

2. When your clients call you to tell you they want to kill themselves, you are doing a good job. Because that means they are calling you instead of killing themselves.

3. When you can help a client make a plan to not engage in self-harm on Friday at 4pm, and then not worry about it again until Monday when it's time to check-in? That means you are adjusting. Because last time you dealt with a suicidal client on Friday afternoon, you thought about it all weekend.

4. It is possible for your client to say hello to you in the waiting room in the morning, and then try to kill himself later that afternoon. But if he calls someone in your clinic in the middle of the suicide attempt, then you are probably doing a good job (see #2).

5. If a client calls to say he can't make his appointment because he is headed into a manic episode? That is a good sign, because he is using those self-monitoring skills you talked with him about. And yes, maybe he does need his medications adjusted, and yes, that was good of him to call his psychiatrist first.

Other thoughts:

It turns out that ACT isn't so bad. It's just that Steven Hayes is a bit verbose, and I don't so much care for his way of describing things sometimes. At the very least, my clients seem to believe now that ACT will in fact help them lose weight, and my chronic pain clients say that it is helping them cope with their pain. And if they believe it, I suppose I might be able to as well.

Successes, Failures, and Football

Jeff visited over the long weekend (yay!). It seemed like the universe was set against us having fun this weekend, but our time together was limited so it was necessary to have a good time anyway, and we did. For example:

:( Jeff's ankle was still bothering him when he arrived (he's been having problems with it for weeks), so doing a lot of walking was out of the question. This is problematic, because most of the fun stuff we like to do involves walking.

:) Jeff used my bike as a "wheelchair" to get around the neighborhood, and I walked beside him. On Friday night we walked/wheeled to self-serve frozen yogurt at a place where there were at least 8 different flavors, and 30+ toppings to choose from (and you can have as many flavors and toppings as you want in your dish). Jeff went a little crazy, as you might imagine-- red velvet fro-yo topped with cinnamon toast crunch was just the beginning...

:( On Saturday morning I got a crazy bad headache complete with nausea, hyper-sensitivity to sounds, and my whole body feeling off-kilter. I have been told these headaches (which I get occasionally) might be migraines, and whatever it was it sure felt like something awful.

:) We had a picnic with some of my intern friends at Balboa park anyway, and had a nice time.

:( By the time we got home, I was totally wiped out. So much for having a date night on Saturday.

:) Jeff made me burritos and helped me relax. We watched an episode of "Freaks and Geeks" (from netflix), did some crossword puzzles, and went to bed early.

:( On Sunday, I was still not totally back to normal.

:) But I was a little better. So we walked to the local farmer's market anyway, and got some excellent local grapefruits (one of the best things about living in SD), and some sunflowers:

:) We tried to relax most of the day, and eventually my headache started to go away, and Jeff's ankle even started to feel a bit better. We were feeling good enough to go out for our date night on Sunday. We had good sushi, and saw a good movie (Cold Souls), all within walking/wheeling distance of my house. By the end of the night, I felt like I was totally back to normal.

:( This morning we tried to go snorkeling but the beach was *crazy* busy, the waves were really rough and Jeff got seasick, and we didn't see any fish.

:) We came home, had a nice lunch, relaxed, and enjoyed the rest of our day together, mostly just hanging out and enjoying each others' company.

:( Jeff had to leave today. We won't see each other again for 3 whole weeks :(


On a completely unrelated note, my fantasy football league is having our draft on Wednesday night, and I need a team name! I have a tentative name: "intern-al combustion," which is supposed to be a play on being interns, but I forgot that internal combustion is about engines which I'm not so into (I was thinking more along the lines of spontaneous human combustion), and it also has nothing to do with football. So any thoughts? Any other name suggestions???

Order is restored to the universe

So about a month ago, maybe a little longer, I lost my watch, and I was upset. It's a cheap-o velcro sports watch, the kind you can get for $10 at any large discount department store, so it wasn't so much the absence of the watch itself that bothered me. It was that I had lost it in a seemingly impossible way.

Since moving here, I have not acquired a whole lot of stuff. I moved here with just one carload full, bought some furniture during the first couple of weeks, and that has mostly been it. The apartment is fairly sparse, and I don't have that much to keep track of. So when the watch went missing, I was confused. I use the watch to time my runs, and I had gone for a run on a Sunday morning, gone home, taken off the watch in the house, thought I remembered setting it on my desk, and then not thought about it until Tuesday when I wanted to go for a run again.

But it was gone. I scoured the apartment from top to bottom, my roommate looked everywhere, we were both disturbed because it seemed like it had vanished into thin air, and neither of us could think of a single place it could be. There were not that many places to look. We thought we were both going crazy, because really, how can you lose something in a nearly empty apartment, when by all reasonable accounts that thing had only ever been placed in two or three places (kitchen counter, my dresser, my desk)?

More than a month went by, and no sign of the thing. Then, yesterday, something miraculous happened. I was sitting on my bed, staring at my curtains while I talked to Jeff on the phone, and saw this:

Hard to see what I'm getting at? Take a closer look:

All is well.

Strings of words I have never said before

1. San Diego weather sucks.

We're in a freaking heat wave and my apartment is a heat trap. We were misled into believing this apartment had air conditioning (i.e., the previous tenant told us it did) but it most definitely does not (apparently he was trying to get out of his lease, and blatantly lied to us about a/c and parking). Even though it has cooled to a comfortable 88 degrees outside, it is still 92 and stagnant in my bedroom, despite the best efforts of my ceiling fan and "cyclone" floor fan. This is the hottest it's been so I don't really have too much right to complain, but I'm almost delirious from the heat. I think I might eat otter pops for dinner.

2. I am struggling with my willingness to accept acceptance.

More to the point: If I was your therapist, and I was supposedly using acceptance and commitment therapy (a.k.a. ACT) to target your emotional eating and obesity, you would probably continue to be obese for life. Because I have no idea what I'm doing. I am failing to see exactly how repeating the word "milk" over and over and over will do anything to help the clients in my obesity group lose weight. Once I have a better sense of what I'm doing I expect I will probably like ACT a bit more, but no one has actually trained me in how to do this therapy, and as far as I know, there are no plans for me to get any specific training other than by bumbling my way through it. My supervisor tells me that ACT is all about the struggle, so my struggle in learning it will actually be beneficial to my clients. And I say that sounds like a whole lot of rationalization.

3. I've joined a fantasy football league.

I know the names of exactly two football players (the dog-fighting one and the one who can't decide whether to retire) because they are the two players who have been mentioned on NPR recently (don't worry, there's no way either of those guys is going to be on *my* team). But two other interns started talking about an intern fantasy football league, and in a moment of whimsy I said "sign me up!" This is a no-stakes game, low commitment, and people say it will be fun, so I'm giving it a try!

walking

The other day I realized that I hardly ever walk anymore. When I first got here I was walking to the grocery store, but lately I've been more rushed, so I just make one trip a week and drive (it's too heavy to carry a week's worth of groceries). Also, I can't really walk to work, because it's about 2 miles away, I'd have to cross a freeway on-ramp or off-ramp with no crosswalk, and there is a massive hill (seriously massive-- I've never seen anyone make it all the way up on a bike without getting off to walk) through pretty heavy traffic. Plus I have to wear nice clothes to work now, and that means that even if I did want to walk (or bike), I'd somehow have to carry my work clothes and keep them from getting wrinkled, and change when I got there. So walking to work is just not a good option. I've been consistently going for jogs 3 times a week, but back home I used to do that plus walk to and from work every day, go for walks around the neighborhood, and have walking meetings every so often. Here, I don't really have anyone to go for walks with, and plus there are not that many hours in the day, to just go take leisurely walks. Although Jeff has made fun of me for saying this, I fear that my health may be in danger from lack of walking. One of my co-workers was similarly not concerned when I mentioned this today. But this lack of walking must be having some physical impact, don't you think???

Things even out

Although the first half of last week was sort of horrible, things improved dramatically and quickly. Last Thursday our intern seminar was moved from our usual stuffy conference room in the hospital, to (I kid you not) the beach. Instead of a lecture we had a beach party. Then on Friday my afternoon intake client showed up, but decided he actually didn't want services in our clinic and left, which meant that I was able to catch up on all my work, and leave by 4:30. And as I got home, Jeff was walking up the street, having just gotten off a bus from the airport. We had a lovely weekend of exploring town a bit, dinner out, snorkeling, and finally introducing Jeff to a few of the other interns I work with. It was good (for pictures, see Jeff's blog). The early part of this week was busy but manageable (I haven't stayed more than a half-hour late at work this week), and then yesterday when I expected to have another really long day, exactly zero clients showed up for my afternoon drop-in group. That was basically a gift of two hours yesterday, and meant leaving work right on time. So it turns out that karma works pretty fast here, and putting in some extra effort is rewarded with breaks. I hope things continue to work that way!

Today no one was scheduled for my intake slot, so I am taking the opportunity to write this blog post, which may mean getting slightly behind and having to play catch-up tomorrow. But I've been finding that when I get home I'm pretty exhausted, and I don't really feel like being on the computer much. Which is, incidentally, also why I haven't replied to any e-mails in the last month or so. I apologize for that, and promise I'll get back into the groove of things soon.

Last night I went to see "Julie and Julia" with a couple of other interns at a movie theater near work. It was a really fun movie! I would have liked more Julia and less Julie in the movie, to be honest, but there was enough Julia to make it worth watching :)

Longest Wednesday Ever

Today I was at work from 8:30 to 6:30, which felt like an eternity. Really, it wasn't *that* long compared with some of my grad school longest days, but somehow today felt ridiculous. Probably because when I left work my car was a lone island in a giant empty parking lot, and as far as I know I was the last person to leave the mental health wing of my clinic. Also probably because I was really working for almost every minute of that time, other than a couple of brief breaks to chat with co-workers while we sat at our desks working, and a very brief break to remove one of my contact lenses because my eye was getting all itchy and twitchy. I think having a contact lens in only one eye may actually be more hazardous than not wearing them at all, and for the second half of the day I think I was having depth perception problems, which probably didn't do anything to help my emerging headache. And maybe it seemed like a really long day because I had contact with a total of 18 different clients during those 10 hours, all of whom were either depressed, or had PTSD, or were suicidal, or had personality disorders, or all of the above, and none of whom seemed to be in a particularly good mood today. I have no idea whether I kept all those people straight, and I sure hope that I didn't make any huge mistakes, what with all the notes I had to write, and consults I had to send to other services for these folks. Oh, and did I mention that I usually have a co-therapist for the second half of the day, when I'm leading groups, and that today I was all on my own? Seriously, I feel like today was just a little too much. Anyone want to trade jobs for a while???

TGIF and Seattle visit

I am so glad it's Friday. My lesson at work for today was that what should be a 5 minute phone call to a client can sometimes turn into a 90 minute extravaganza involving getting yelled at like crazy for 20 minutes over the phone, determining the client may be a danger to himself, consulting with 4 different people, calling the police to do a welfare check, and completing mucho documentation of all this, which can sometimes lead to missing lunch and being 30 minutes late for your next client. So sometimes maybe it's a good idea to think twice before deciding "I have 10 minutes before lunch, I'll just make those two phone calls." But on the bright side: I've learned early on how to handle a little crisis like this, and (drumroll) I finally have computer access so I was able to complete all the necessary documentation!

But I'm done with work for today, so on a more fun note: Last weekend I had a lovely visit to Seattle (and I got out of town before the crazy heatwave). We went for a nice walk around Fremont,

I got to see how well Jeff is taking care of all our household things (and I was surprised at how much I felt like I was coming home, just from eating off of one of my own plates),

and very happily, I got to visit my two kitties, sleepy-face

and yawny cat

who were both very happy to see me :)

The very model of efficiency

Before I start, I want to reiterate a few things: 1) So far all of my coworkers and supervisors have proven themselves to be competent, compassionate, highly intelligent, and extremely nice. 2) The quality of mental health care delivered at the San Diego VA is excellent. 3) I am very happy to have matched to this internship, as I believe I am learning a lot, and really like the general philosophy of training here.

So, keeping all that in mind, I have some gripes. I am currently sitting in an office to which I have no key, illegally logged on to a computer, not seeing a client, and thus having very little to do. Why? Well.

Three weeks is just long enough for a key to be ordered and delivered (yay!), but that doesn't mean you'll get the right key (boo). And for confusing reasons, no one on the scheduling side of things seems to know I'm here today. My intake timeslot was administratively cancelled, so no client was scheduled. Which is a shame, because there are clients who are scheduled a month out who are waiting to have an intake done, and I'm sitting bored in an office that I can't easily leave (because if I do I have to find someone else to let me back in).

I am only at this clinic one day a week, so I guess settling in will take a bit longer than it did at my other site (where I work 4 days a week). It's slow here today, but yesterday I was so busy that between 8:30 and 6:00 I could hardly find time for a bathroom break, and tomorrow is shaping up to be just as busy. I wish there was some way to take the time I have now, and insert it into the middle of tomorrow. Any ideas???

Regarding when I'll get my computer login, the response has gone from "please don't ask" to "we're working on it," so that might be a good sign. However, one person was given a tentative date of this past monday and it is now thursday and no such luck, so I'm not sure we're any closer.

But on the bright side: If all goes as planned I get my first paycheck tomorrow (which will not be an I.O.U. from the state of california), I was able to enroll in health insurance without any glitches (so far), and I have been promised business cards by the end of today.

And even better, tomorrow after work I'm hopping on a plane to Seattle to visit Jeff!

SD Pride

My good newses: 1) I finally have a new carpet in my bedroom! I moved out of the living room and into my bedroom a week ago, and although I haven't unpacked everything yet, I feel much more settled. 2) Jeff visited last weekend (yay!!). You can get his version of the trip on his blog, which I also added a link to on the sidebar. My version is: I was soo happy to see Jeff, and we had a really good weekend together. Then I got really homesick (and Jeff-sick) after he left. I think I had been adjusting to my new home and new routine, and then his visit reminded me how much I miss him (which is a good thing and a sad thing). But, I get to visit him in Seattle next weekend!!!

Less good: 1) Still no computer access at work, which makes my job very difficult. 2) Work is getting way way busier, so I'm pretty exhausted all the time. The internship directors tell me that people start settling in and looking less exhausted after labor day. Labor day is sort of a long time from now :(

Today was the San Diego pride parade. It was a fun parade, and all sorts of people came out to watch. Unfortunately, it's extremely hot today, the parade lasted almost 3 hours, and I made some errors in planning my sun protection. So I have a sunburn in the shape of a curved line approximately 2 inches wide running shoulder to shoulder across the middle of my upper back, a sort of a sail shape and a small circle on my right arm, and on the back of each leg a burn that runs from below my knee to halfway down my calf. I hate sunburns in general, but I especially hate the really stupid shaped ones. I think this is my lesson for the year, and from here on out I plan on being more careful.

But, the parade was fun. There were lots of floats,

and lots of people. It's hard to see in photos, but you can kind of see that the street is completely packed with people:

There were literally about 150,000 people there, all within walking distance of my house. My parade prototype is the Eugene celebration parade, and while this one was maybe not quite as home-grown feeling, it was a very community-oriented and positive event!

Spills Can Kill

Here are some facts about working for the VA:

1. The time between late February (when I was matched to this internship) and July 1st is not adequate for processing of hiring paperwork. There is an ocean of paperwork to complete, which is sent out in waves, and no matter how quickly you complete it (for example, completing the last bit of paperwork 6 weeks before your start date) there will not be enough time for processing of said paperwork. It is impossible to perform the steps to obtain the basic necessary tools to perform one's job (like a computer login) on such short notice.

2. If you have been at work for a week and a half, and nearly every aspect of your job requires the use of a computer, it is not okay to ask when your computer access will be granted. If none of the 19 members of your intern class have been given computer access, when your supervisors ask a person-in-charge when you can expect to be given access, the response will uniformly be (quote): "Please do not ask."

3. When you are a clinical psychologist in the VA, and the primary purpose of your job is to help clients with emotional distress and behavior change, the reason that nearly every aspect of your job requires computer access is because you have to document every single thing you do in several places. If, for example, you make a phone call to what turns out to be a disconnected number, it is necessary to call that number back 3 times within 5 days. If the number remains disconnected you must send a letter to the associated address to convey your information. Each of these attempted phone calls, and the sending of the letter, must be appropriately documented in the computerized patient record system as well as in between 1 and 3 clinic spreadsheets.

4. If, for some reason, you do not have computer access, you may still be granted access to patient records and make phone calls to clients, and even see clients face to face, if your supervisor obtains the records and other necessary information for you. However, each of these interactions must be documented, and thus you must leave many voicemail messages for your supervisor, who is then required to input the information you convey in your messages into the computerized record system and spreadsheets.

5. For unknown reasons, which could not possibly be related to the complexity of the documentation system that is required in every VA department, there are often "glitches" that occur in the HR department. At the end of your second week of work, it is possible that someone in HR might contact you and tell you that you must complete all of your hiring paperwork, get fingerprinted, and complete a security background check as soon as possible, even though you completed all of these requirements two months ago. It is also possible that they will require that each person individually go to the HR office to clear up this mistake, even though the exact same mistake occurred for 11 people. They also may not accept forwarded e-mail messages *FROM THEMSELVES* as evidence that there appears to have been an error. For example, even if you can supply a message dated two months ago which indicates that these requirements are complete, and even if that message was sent from the very same HR rep who is now asking you to come and complete these requirements, you may be required to go to the HR office to clear up the problem.

6. As a new VA employee, it is required that you spend 16 hours in general new employee orientation where you learn such important information as what to do when you encounter spilled liquid on the floor (like a spilled cup of coffee). You learn that in such a circumstance, you must *STAY WHERE YOU ARE* near the spill, and wait until another person passes by, at which point one of you may go and call for a cleaning crew. You must *NEVER* leave a spill unattended.

Another reason I'm glad that my dissertation is done

Last night I went downtown to watch fireworks with three other interns:
That's me, J.J., E.N., and not pictured is D.T. (she's behind the camera). There are 19 interns in my class, and only four of us ended up going out together to celebrate last night. I had assumed we'd be a bigger group, but some people had other plans, and a couple of others were out of town. However, I was absolutely appalled to find out that at least two interns were WORKING ON THEIR DISSERTATIONS instead of coming out to see fireworks. About half of my intern class has not defended yet, and weekends really are the only time they have to work, given our busy schedules. And since we are not all totally exhausted from internship yet, this weekend was a good time to work on dissertations. I am *so* glad that I defended before I started internship.

So the fireworks display over San Diego Bay was pretty cool-- there were barges in several different places on the bay, and they were all lighting off the same fireworks at the exact same time. From where we were, we could see the displays from 3 barges-- one really close by, and two in the distance. I took these two videos during the show, and if you look down toward the bottom and to the left hand side, you can see the simultaneous fireworks launching off of the three barges:






Afterward we decided not to fight traffic, and instead stuck around downtown for a while and got ice cream sundaes at the Ghirardelli shop, which was a great way to finish our July 4th celebration.

It's back to work tomorrow, and later this week I promise to provide a nice post about VA bureaucracy. I'm fairly certain that it will make you all feel better about your workplaces. For those of you back home in the psych department: by comparison with VA bureaucracy, our persnickety Mr. gph shows minimal regard for paperwork and regulations. Seriously.

I Hate the DMV, and First Day of Work

On Monday I spent all afternoon at the DMV. It was truly awful-- worse than dog pee. To be in compliance with California law, I had to register my car and get a California driver's license within 10 days of becoming a resident. However, if I had it to do over again, I would have chosen to not comply with California law, keep my Oregon license and registration, and never set foot in a California DMV. But once I had committed, there was no going back, so here's how it went:

There were hundreds of people there, and I waited for nearly 2 hours from my arrival until I was served. The building was way too small to accommodate everyone-- for the hundreds upon hundreds of people waiting, there were a total of about 50 chairs in the whole (small) building, and so it was packed wall to wall like a crowded subway car with people standing and waiting for their numbers to be called. For most of my wait, there wasn't really even enough room to read a book (though I finally managed to snag a chair through careful stalking and quick reflexes). After I finally got called, I was shuffled around to 3 different windows, where there was more waiting, as well as some confusion over the law and how much I should have to pay to register my car.

To be fair, the actual people I dealt with were surprisingly nice, given the insanity of their work environment. The DMV is a like a zoo on fire, and there are many problematic rules, laws, and staff shortages to contend with, but somehow or another the people who work at the DMV managed to be efficient, empathetic, and as helpful as possible given the constraints. And, because of this, I eventually made it out with my license and registration. I hope that officially becoming a resident has enough benefits (e.g., discounts at Disneyland and Sea World) to make this worth it, and I hope that I never have to go to a California DMV ever again.

On a better note, today was my first day of work! I got my keys, my ID badge, a parking permit, a handbook, and a bit of orientation. Tomorrow is orientation at the clinic where I'll be working most of the time, and Friday is a federal holiday (July 4th, observed on July 3rd). Yay for short weeks! Everyone I've met is really nice-- supervisors, staff, and other interns-- so I'm feeling good about things so far. I've been warned that work will be totally exhausting once it really gets started, so I'm glad I get to ease into things slowly!

Things I have learned so far

1. Pumping your own gas is easy, if you know what you are doing. If you are an Oregonian and do not know much about pumping gas, older gas stations with their idiosyncratic pump issues will likely be the most troublesome. Also, it is very important to remember to replace your gas cap, though it is possible to drive at least 200 miles without one, without noticing it's gone.

2. A replacement gas cap at the VW dealership in San Diego costs $33, including tax. The employees in the service department are extremely friendly.

3. When 30-40% of a carpet is covered in dog pee, it simply cannot be cleaned. Even after waiting 72 hours for the cleaning chemicals to fully "break down the enzymes" a noxious odor will persist. Also, property managers (who insist that you must wait 72 hours before saying that the carpet still smells) do not work on weekends, and do not consider pee-stained carpets a maintenance emergency.

4. There is a difference between hard water and soft water. As far as I can tell, it is not possible to clean dishes in hard water.

5. It actually is possible to drop by a friend's wedding via cell phone. There are many ways to keep in touch.

Bluestocking Biddy Moves to California

On Saturday I set out for San Diego, where I'll be living for a year, taking with me only what I could fit in my car. On the same day, Jeff drove a U-Haul (packed with all the rest of our worldly belongings and our two terrified kitties) to Seattle. It has already been an eventful few days, and here are some of the highlights:

1. After I had said my goodbyes on Saturday I got into my car and was about to leave, but the car wouldn't start. After putting a little gas in the tank, trying again, calling every VW mechanic in town (all closed on Saturdays), despairing, and deciding that the fates did not want me to leave Eugene, my mom suggested that I just try again. After sputtering a little, the car started. It had probably been out of gas, but the fuel light didn't come on (which it has in the past when the fuel is low), so it's a little hard to explain what happened. I think maybe the car had just as much ambivalence about moving as I did. Here is a picture of the car, all packed, on day two of my trip:



2. I visited my friends E & W in Cupertino (bay area, south of SF), and we went wine tasting at two wineries near their house. It was a wonderful relaxing day with great friends, and helped take my mind off of being sad about moving. Here are a couple of pictures:

3. Jeff and I are both contending with pee-stained carpets in our new apartments (a small dog apparently peed all over my bedroom, and a cat left it's mark in Jeff's living room). The carpet cleaners are here in my apartment at this very moment, and Jeff has his being cleaned early next week. I am hopeful that this will do the trick (these cleaners are supposedly "pet urine experts" and I believe them-- they even have a little pee-detecting device that they stuck into all the spots in the carpet to see how bad it was). I really don't want to get into a carpet battle with my property manager, but there is no way I'm going to sleep on top of pee smell.

My roommate is arriving today, hopefully tomorrow we'll get some furniture, and soon I'll be starting work. I'm planning to update this blog regularly (I know I've never done that in the past, but I think this time will be different), so check back soon!