Spills Can Kill

Here are some facts about working for the VA:

1. The time between late February (when I was matched to this internship) and July 1st is not adequate for processing of hiring paperwork. There is an ocean of paperwork to complete, which is sent out in waves, and no matter how quickly you complete it (for example, completing the last bit of paperwork 6 weeks before your start date) there will not be enough time for processing of said paperwork. It is impossible to perform the steps to obtain the basic necessary tools to perform one's job (like a computer login) on such short notice.

2. If you have been at work for a week and a half, and nearly every aspect of your job requires the use of a computer, it is not okay to ask when your computer access will be granted. If none of the 19 members of your intern class have been given computer access, when your supervisors ask a person-in-charge when you can expect to be given access, the response will uniformly be (quote): "Please do not ask."

3. When you are a clinical psychologist in the VA, and the primary purpose of your job is to help clients with emotional distress and behavior change, the reason that nearly every aspect of your job requires computer access is because you have to document every single thing you do in several places. If, for example, you make a phone call to what turns out to be a disconnected number, it is necessary to call that number back 3 times within 5 days. If the number remains disconnected you must send a letter to the associated address to convey your information. Each of these attempted phone calls, and the sending of the letter, must be appropriately documented in the computerized patient record system as well as in between 1 and 3 clinic spreadsheets.

4. If, for some reason, you do not have computer access, you may still be granted access to patient records and make phone calls to clients, and even see clients face to face, if your supervisor obtains the records and other necessary information for you. However, each of these interactions must be documented, and thus you must leave many voicemail messages for your supervisor, who is then required to input the information you convey in your messages into the computerized record system and spreadsheets.

5. For unknown reasons, which could not possibly be related to the complexity of the documentation system that is required in every VA department, there are often "glitches" that occur in the HR department. At the end of your second week of work, it is possible that someone in HR might contact you and tell you that you must complete all of your hiring paperwork, get fingerprinted, and complete a security background check as soon as possible, even though you completed all of these requirements two months ago. It is also possible that they will require that each person individually go to the HR office to clear up this mistake, even though the exact same mistake occurred for 11 people. They also may not accept forwarded e-mail messages *FROM THEMSELVES* as evidence that there appears to have been an error. For example, even if you can supply a message dated two months ago which indicates that these requirements are complete, and even if that message was sent from the very same HR rep who is now asking you to come and complete these requirements, you may be required to go to the HR office to clear up the problem.

6. As a new VA employee, it is required that you spend 16 hours in general new employee orientation where you learn such important information as what to do when you encounter spilled liquid on the floor (like a spilled cup of coffee). You learn that in such a circumstance, you must *STAY WHERE YOU ARE* near the spill, and wait until another person passes by, at which point one of you may go and call for a cleaning crew. You must *NEVER* leave a spill unattended.