Better

I just re-read my last post, and while much of it is still true, I find that I am much less distressed by all that than I was a month ago. So this post is about how things are better-- than they were a month ago, and a year ago.

Things that are better than they were one month ago:
1. The day after I wrote my last post, I got asked to interview for a one-year position (a postdoc) at Seattle VA doing primarily PTSD/trauma treatment. The day after that I interviewed, and the day after that I was offered the position. I start in mid-September, so I will have over a month off this summer between jobs, at the most beautiful time of year up here (if you want to visit, I'm free in August!). I am looking forward to this job. I believe that the work environment will be a better fit for me, and so will the work, and my commute will be better because I will avoid downtown. Yay!

2. Some individuals that I work with have begun talking with me about their dissatisfaction with our work environment, meaning that I now have some people to gripe with. These are people who are even lower on the totem pole than I am, and because of this I feel like I have a new purpose at work: I've taken on the project of collecting feedback from those at my level and below, with the intention of diplomatically providing some constructive suggestions to our supervisors. I'm trying to figure out the best way to do this, and the best timing, and I have several months to make it happen. If this goes well, it could have a positive impact for a number of people, and if not, it doesn't really matter because I'm leaving :)

3. Daylight hours are longer, and I now bike home in daylight (well, at least dusk) most evenings, making for a less stressful commute.

4. We started planting the garden (peas and lettuce so far), and I have been knitting more often, and even baking occasionally. Hobbies are good.

Things that are better than one year ago:
1. I got a better birthday present this year-- last year the day before my birthday I was told some very scary things by a neurosurgeon (some of which turned out not to be true, or at least not to be nearly as scary as he made them out to be, but at the time I thought I was going to have to face some life-changing stuff). This year the day before my birthday I was offered a job. Better.

2. My health. Last year at this time, I was sick, feeling pretty awful every day, and worried that I was going to have to have brain surgery. This year, I feel so much better that most of the time I am back to normal.

3. I live with my husband, whereas one year ago I did not.

4. I have officially made it all the way through graduate school-- I forget that sometimes!


So really, stuff is pretty good right now. I'm still going back and forth, in and out of that existential crisis, but fortunately it seems that knitting on a sock or digging in the dirt (aka gardening) is enough to snap out of it, at least for a little while :)